Remember: That time your mom threatened to watch Brokeback?

I came out a year ago today. ONLY one year ago. From prepubescent closet case to attractive, well-adjusted, self-accepting (so vain, so, so vain) twenty-something has been my transition. (It’s important to note that in this period I have not been hate crime’d, STD’d or struck’d by lightning! Amazing! I KNOW.)

June 19, 2007, After months of debating whether or not to divulge my greatest secret, the one I had been keeping under wraps FOREVER, I decide to go for it. I decide to start living my life.

My sister is the first person to hear the news. She doesn’t really blink an eye. I might have said, “I have a mosquito bite, and it hurts.” She tells me she doesn’t care and loves me just the same. Then she hugs me and tells me to, “STOP FREAKIN’ CRYING! IT’S NOT LIKE YOU’RE DYING! YOU BIG BABY!” (Not exactly, but now that it’s written on the internets, it’s a truth forever).

The following day I’m in the kitchen having breakfast with my mom. She knows me all too well and knows something’s wrong. So, I close my eyes and jump in the deep end. “Mom, I’m gay, and I’m going to start living my life fully and honestly.” Which is really the diplomatic way of saying, "I'm going shatter all your hopes, all your dreams, AND shame the ancestors, AND bring about the decline of moral civilization by loving another boy.”

She takes it in, pausing for a moment to decide how best to respond… She tells me she loves me and always will. She tells me she wants me to be happy. She wants me to leave Utah ASAP, so I can be around more understanding and open-minded people (50 Bajillion points: MOM).

“You know honey, this is actually really exciting. I don’t know much about this;
we have so much to learn. Do you think we should watch Brokeback Mountain?”

I take it in, pausing for a moment to decide how best to respond… I burst into laughter. I love me mum and always will. I want her to be happy too, but there is NO WAY I’m enduring that movie again/letting her watch it, not for ALL THE TEA (dumplings, pirated DVDs, fake Prada) IN CHINA. She will have to learn all about The Gay somewheres else.